When my son entered the school system, I had to fight for his rights to be mainstreamed due to his disability. My local county school district had a Pre-K program for four year olds. This classroom included a teacher and a paraprofessional and 20 children. He was already in a manual wheelchair at that age and was still able to maneuver himself on his own. Before now, I had been there to protect him and to make sure that he had the help that he needed right by his side. Needless to say, I was a nervous wreck about leaving him in the care of total strangers. Every parent goes through this when their child begins school for the first time, but not in a way that special needs parents do. I feel that there is a stronger connection between a parent and a child with daily, hourly and momentarily needs. Not only are they closer because of “having” to care for the child but closer because of the love and concern that comes to heart knowing that your child is unhealthy and unable to care for themselves like other kids are able to do.

My handsome little man, excited for school.

I had been a retail store manager for 6 years, but now I was reevaluating my life. What was truly important right now? I couldn’t think of anything more important than my son and making sure that he had what he needed. He now would need a ride to school, a ride home, and someone to be with him after school hours. I was newly divorced and was raising him on my own. I made the decision and on a whim, called my district manager and told him I was turning in my notice. I had no other job to go to, but knew I could find something. I wanted a job part time during school hours, I was able to find a job telemarketing from 9am to 1pm, 5 days a week. The pay was not that great but I did get commission every now and then and could survive no matter what my income was. Where there is a will, there is a way.

I went a few days prior to school starting and met with the teacher and the paraprofessional with my son. This helped all of us to feel more comfortable about the first day jitters. Immediately the teaching team greeted both of us with open arms and were bubbly and cheerful and eager to take him under their wing for the next 180 days. He and I both left there with a more secure feeling of what the year would bring. He seemed excited to be going to school and was involved in the whole process of picking out the new back pack and lunch box and new clothes to be looking his best for the first week of school.

The school year seemed to fly by as he looked forward every day on returning to school the next morning. The Parapro in the classroom was able to assist him with his toileting needs which was not that uncommon for a room full of four year olds. This was a blessing to have that extra person in the classroom as only Pre-K and Kindergarten provided that extra set of hands and teaching skills. I knew there would be issues in the future with only one teacher per 20-25 students as my son needed assistance with getting his books out of his book bag, picking up his pencil when it dropped and help carrying his lunch tray. All the kids in his class were eager and friendly to him and offered assistance to him when needed, but I knew he would need a little more than this, to get the education he deserved.

Family day in the classroom

As the year progressed, he had quickly became one of the smartest kids in his class. I had made it a point to always read a book with him each night before bedtime and he had two great teachers educating him as well throughout the day. I remember walking into the classroom one afternoon to pick him up and the teacher came to me and said, “You’re not going to believe this. We had to get a new computer set up today and your son wheeled over and helped us to get it up and running. He’s a computer genius!”. I laughed and was silently amazed myself as I was not technically inclined but was tickled that he had unscratched talents, especially at four years old.

Throughout the year, things seemed to go smoothly with accessibility and equal opportunities for him. The class had several field trips and I was always there with the pre planning to make sure that it was accessible. The bus was a “regular” school bus with no lift on it, but my son was small enough and his chair was light enough that I could just fold it up and place it in the back of the bus and pick him up and set him in the seat. The accessibility was not as comfortable as home but definitely better than some of the horror stories that I had heard about the public school system and the inclusion of children in wheelchairs.

Pre-K seemed to be a wonderful experience which continued throughout Kindergarten. Again in Kindergarten was a teacher and also a paraprofessional. This was a perfect setting for him to have the extra person in the classroom to assist him with his special needs.

Kindergarten graduation

At the end of this year, we had an IEP meeting and decided that facing a new school year without a paraprofessional was going to be difficult. I had concerns about it just like the school did, but I didn’t want him placed in a special education classroom, I wanted him mainstreamed. To be  mainstreamed this would mean he would be provided a one on one paraprofessional. The principal was very nice, but wasn’t sure they could accommodate this all day as the cost would be too much and everyone involved in the IEP continued to talk more about a special education setting.

I had previously studied about what to expect from an IEP meeting and had purchased a tape recorder and placed it in the center of the table with everyone’s permission. This kept everyone on their toes when tossing ideas around of how best to educate my son. I had also brought to the meeting his private physical therapist that was well aware of the laws and rules of education in the school system. She seemed to be the educated voice that I needed to talk them into hiring a one on one parapro assigned only to him. They tried to persuade me into labeling him as “special ed” by saying that he could not ride the bus that was equipped with a wheelchair lift unless I was willing to label him as such. My response was, ” so you are telling me that you are going to provide bus service to all students except my son because of a label?” They would never respond to that as I continued to ask it over and over when the “label” was mentioned. He was getting an electric wheelchair soon and it could no longer be folded up into the bus, making him unable to ride the regular bus non equipped with a lift.

My son at his fourth grade dance

By the time the meeting ended, the school agreed to provide a one on one paraprofessional assigned to be of assistance to my son’s special needs. She would also help in the classroom if needed, but would be there to help him to get his books out of his book bag, help with his lunch tray and assist him with his toileting needs. Somehow my persistence had paid off and I was able to change the minds of the people involved in the meeting that day.

On a school field trip with my son, his para professional, and his friend

God answered many prayers as the paraprofessional that was selected was a wonderful, dependable and Christian lady. She always provided the needs that he had and encouraged him to put forward his best in all situations. I won’t say that every day of school for him was easy, and that issues with inclusion did not come up, but with her and I working together for him, his needs were met and his education was a positive, awesome experience.

Cory with his paraprofessional

He was able to accomplish many things throughout his elementary, middle and high school years of mainstreamed inclusion. He was in the Beta Club in middle and high school, and an honor graduate in middle and high school, and won the school spelling bee in 6th grade beating out 7th and 8th grade competitors. He was also in the Drama club, got first chair in the drumline in the middle school band, and was President of Student Government, and Editor of the high school yearbook staff. He was also in the National Society of High School Scholars and received the President’s Education Award for outstanding academic excellence.

My son and his prom date

I look back now over the years and know what a blessing this was for him and for myself to have peace of mind. My son was so lucky to have the same paraprofessional for the entire 12 years of his education. She followed him to Middle School and High School and as she walked with him across the stage at his high school graduation, the school also congratulated her for her retirement as she had chosen to end her career at that time as well. She told me that if she continued on she was afraid her next student would not be as great as my son had been and had decided to retire on this positive experience.

You know your child better than anyone else. You know their needs and personality and can be the voice for them that gets the equality they deserve. Even when you think you can’t make a difference, never give up. Sometimes it just takes a little perseverance to make a world of difference in the life of your child.